Well, hello there! Let me tell ya somethin’ about these here… what do you call ’em? Canoe horoscopes? Eugenia Last, that’s the name. Now, I ain’t no scholar, mind you, but I’ve heard folks talkin’. Seems like this Eugenia, she knows a thing or two about the stars and such.
What are these canoe horoscopes anyway? I reckon they’re like them things in the newspaper, tellin’ ya what kinda day you’re gonna have. Only, maybe with canoes? Don’t rightly know. But Eugenia, she’s the one they talk about. Says she’s been doin’ this for thirty years or somethin’. That’s a long time, ain’t it? Must be good at it, I figure.
- She talks about stars and planets and all that fancy stuff. Says it affects our lives, you know? Like, if Mars is doin’ somethin’ funny, you might have a bad day. Or maybe a good day, dependin’ on what you’re doin’, I guess.
- And she talks about birthdays, too. Like, if you’re born on a certain day, you’re gonna be a certain way. Like that fella, Ryan Gosling. She knows his birthday and probably what kinda fella he is, just from lookin’ at the stars. That’s somethin’, ain’t it?
Now, I ain’t sure how it all works, this star business. But Eugenia, she seems to know. She gives advice, they say. Tells you to watch out for trouble, or to go after what you want. Like, she might say, “Don’t go arguin’ with your neighbor on the 24th, keep your head down and do your work.” Or maybe, “Be ready to change your plans at the last minute.” That’s what I hear, anyways.
She talks about all sorts of folks, too. Famous ones, like them actors, Shia LaBeouf and Peter Dinklage. And James Corden and Kristen Wiig. And that Gerard Butler fella, and Jimmy Kimmel. Even Whoopi Goldberg and Chris Noth. She knows their birthdays, and probably what they’re gonna be doin’ this week, just from lookin’ at them stars. It’s kinda amazin’, if you think about it.
So, what’s the point of all this? Well, I reckon it’s like this. Life’s kinda like a river, you know? Sometimes it’s smooth sailin’, and sometimes it’s rough. And maybe these horoscopes, they’re like a map, tellin’ ya where the rocks are and where the smooth water is. Or maybe they’re like a weather report, tellin’ ya if it’s gonna be sunny or stormy. That’s how I see it, anyways.
Eugenia, she gives you stars, one star, two stars… I don’t know how many stars is good or bad. But she says things like, one star, “stay outta fights and lay low”. Two stars, “you can get things done.” Sounds like good advice to me, stars or no stars.
And this canoe part? Maybe it’s about navigatin’ life, you know? Paddlin’ your own canoe, that’s what they say. And maybe Eugenia, she’s helpin’ ya steer, tellin’ ya which way to go. Or maybe it’s just a name, canoe horoscopes, sounds fancy enough for city folk. I don’t know. But folks seem to listen to her, so she must be doin’ somethin’ right.
Now, I ain’t sayin’ you should believe everything you hear. But sometimes, it’s nice to have a little guidance, you know? A little somethin’ to help you make sense of things. And maybe Eugenia, she can do that. Maybe she can help you paddle your canoe a little bit better. Or at least give you somethin’ to think about while you’re floatin’ along.
So, if you’re lookin’ for some advice, or just curious about what the stars have to say, maybe check out this Eugenia Last. She seems to know her stuff. And who knows, maybe she can help you navigate your own little river a little bit better. Just remember, though, it’s still your canoe, and you’re the one doin’ the paddlin’. Don’t go blaming the stars if you end up in the weeds.
Tags：[Eugenia Last, Horoscopes, Astrology, Canoe, Stars, Planets, Advice, Celebrities, Ryan Gosling, Shia LaBeouf, Peter Dinklage, James Corden, Kristen Wiig, Gerard Butler, Jimmy Kimmel, Whoopi Goldberg, Chris Noth]
