Well, howdy there! Let’s talk about this… this… astro-whatsit and the pipes in your house. Yeah, you heard me right. Stars and toilets. Sounds crazy, huh? But some folks say there’s a connection. I say, “Hogwash!” But let’s see what these city folks are jabberin’ about.
What in tarnation is astrology anyway?
Now, I ain’t no scholar, but from what I gather, astrology is this old, old thing. Started way back when, even before my grandpappy’s grandpappy was born. They say it started in some place called Mesopotamia… sounds fancy, huh? Then it went to India, then to them Greek fellas, and then even them Arab folks got in on it. And somehow it ended up here, with folks talkin’ ’bout star signs and such.
They say them stars and planets up there can tell you about your life, your personality, what kind of day you gonna have… Makes you wonder if they knew my Bessie was gonna run off with that no-good Harold last Tuesday. Anyways, these astrology folks, they look at charts and maps of the sky, and they say all sorts of things. They say planets “represent what you do”. I say, all them planets do is shine, ain’t that right? But they got all these houses and signs and whatnots… it’s enough to make your head spin faster than a weathervane in a tornado.
- Now, them scientists, they don’t buy any of this star talk. They say it’s all bunk, that there ain’t no proof of it. They tested it and tested it, and they say there’s nothin’ to it. I tend to agree with them smart fellers. You ever notice how them astrology folks never win the lottery? If they can read the stars, why ain’t they rich?
- But these folks who do astrology, they keep on keepin’ on. They say them planets and stars can tell ya about everything, even yer love life and how to fix yer leaky faucet! I tell you, I’ve fixed more leaky faucets in my life than them city slickers with their fancy star charts. And I never needed no stars to tell me where the wrench was.
So, what does astrology have to do with my pipes?
Now, this is where it gets really wacky. Some folks say that astrology can tell you about the plumbing in your house! Can you believe that? They say certain planets and houses rule over the pipes. Like maybe Mars is in charge of the hot water, and Venus is in charge of the cold water. Or maybe the fourth house rules the bathroom sink, and the eighth house rules the drain in the kitchen. I tell you, it sounds like a bunch of baloney to me.
They say astrology helps people understand their lives, all the good and bad things. They talk about planets and stars, houses and stuff, all supposed to help us understand what’s gonna happen. It’s supposed to be a map to our lives, showin’ us where we’re going and the problems we’ll meet. Makes me chuckle though, never seen a star map show where the gopher dug up my water pipes! But they’re trying to connect all of it, even with how water comes and goes in your place. It’s like saying Jupiter wants your toilet to flush right.
My take on this whole thing
Now, I ain’t sayin’ astrology is all wrong, and I ain’t sayin’ it’s all right. I just think folks need to use some common sense. If your pipes are leakin’, you don’t need to look at the stars, you need to call a plumber! Or if you are handy, go grab that wrench youself and tighten the darn thing!
Getting Down to Earth with Plumbing
After all, plumbin’ is just about gettin’ water where it needs to go. You got pipes, you got water, and you got gravity. That’s all there is to it. You don’t need no fancy star charts or horoscopes to figure that out. You can read all you want, from ancient books to shiny new ones, about star rules, but you really just need to know where your pipes go. Even if we don’t know for sure what star or planet is in charge of plumbin’, water still has to go somewhere.
Now, if you want to believe in astrology, that’s your business. But don’t go blaming the stars if your toilet overflows. That’s probably just because little Timmy flushed his toy truck down the drain again. And if your water pipes freeze in the winter, it ain’t because Saturn is in retrograde, it’s because you forgot to wrap ’em up good. Stars are pretty, sure, but they won’t unclog a drain.
So, there you have it. My two cents on astrology and plumbing. Take it with a grain of salt, like everything else in this crazy world. And remember, if your pipes are acting up, call a plumber, not an astrologer. You’ll thank me later.
In Closing…
Stars and pipes, makes you wonder what they’ll think of next. Me? I’m gonna stick to fixin’ things with my own two hands. And if the stars wanna help out, well, they can shine a little brighter so I can see what I’m doin’.
Tags: [astrology, plumbing, stars, planets, houses, pipes, home, water, leaks, DIY]
