Is Your David Lynch Horoscope Weird? Find Out Now!

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about this fella, David Lynch. Born way back in 1946, January 20th, in a place called Missoula, Montana. Don’t know much about Montana, but I hear it’s got mountains and such. Anyways, this David fella, he makes movies. Movies that ain’t like the ones down at the picture show in town, that’s for sure. They say he’s into “weird” stuff. Surreal, they call it. Sounds like a fancy word for stuff that don’t make no sense to plain folks like me.

Now, they got this thing called horoscope. Says it can tell ya about a person based on when they was born. Like this David Lynch, being born in January, makes him a Capricorn. What’s a Capricorn, you ask? Well, it’s somethin’ to do with the stars, I reckon. They also say he’s got somethin’ called a Scorpio Ascendant and a Virgo Moon. Sounds like a whole lotta mumbo jumbo to me, but some folks swear by it.

They say these star signs and whatnot can tell ya about a person’s personality. Like, Capricorns are supposed to be hardworking and all that. Maybe that’s why this David fella makes all them strange movies. He’s probably workin’ real hard at bein’ weird, I guess. And this Scorpio Ascendant, they say it makes a person mysterious. Well, I ain’t met the fella, but his movies sure are mysterious, that’s for sure. Can’t make heads nor tails of ’em half the time.

Sun Sign: Capricorn
Ascendant: Scorpio
Moon Sign: Virgo

Now, they got these folks, astrologers they call ‘em. They study all these stars and signs and try to figure out what it all means. Some say it can even tell ya who you’re supposed to marry! Said if your moon sign is the same as somebody else’s sun sign, and your sun sign is the same as their moon sign, then you’re a perfect match! Imagine that! Like findin’ a needle in a haystack, if you ask me.

And they got somethin’ called a Grand Cross, too. Sounds important, like somethin’ you’d see at the church. But it’s got to do with the stars again. They say it’s real rare, when all the planets line up just so. Don’t know what it means, but it sure sounds fancy.

I heard tell that this David Lynch fella, he’s got some health problems. Emphysema, they call it. Poor fella can hardly breathe, needs a tank of air just to walk across the room. Makes you think, all that star stuff and fancy talk, and in the end, we’re all just folks tryin’ to get by, ain’t we? Whether you’re a Capricorn or a Virgo or whatever, sickness don’t care none about that.

Anyways, if you wanna know more about your horoscope, they got these things called daily horoscopes. You can find ‘em in the newspaper or on that internet thing the youngsters are always on. They tell ya what the stars have in store for ya each day. Maybe it’ll tell ya to avoid walkin’ under ladders or somethin’. I don’t pay much mind to it myself. Just get up every mornin’ and do what needs doin’, that’s my motto.

So, there ya have it. A little somethin’ about David Lynch and this horoscope business. Don’t know if it’s all true, but it’s somethin’ to think about, I reckon. Maybe them stars do know a thing or two. Or maybe it’s all just a bunch of hooey. Who knows? I surely don’t.

David Lynch’s Birthday: January 20, 1946.