Well, let me tell you somethin’ ’bout this armed security psychological test thingy. It ain’t like no test you ever took in school, that’s for sure. They wanna poke around in your head, see if you’re the right kinda person to be carryin’ a gun and keepin’ folks safe.
First off, they got these psychometric tests. Sounds fancy, huh? It’s just a way to see how good you are at thinkin’ and doin’ stuff. Like, can you figure things out? Can you talk to people? Can you count and measure things? They even got them picture tests, where you gotta look at shapes and stuff. I tell ya, some of them pictures don’t make no sense at all! But they say it shows how your brain works.
- They wanna know if you’re smart enough to handle the job.
- They wanna see if you can talk to folks without gettin’ all riled up.
- They gotta make sure you ain’t gonna lose your cool and start shootin’ at shadows.
Then, there’s the military kinda tests. See, they figure if you’re gonna be carryin’ a gun, you gotta be kinda like a soldier, even if you ain’t in the army. They wanna know if you’re a leader type, or if you just follow orders. They wanna see if you can handle tough situations without fallin’ apart. And they definitely wanna make sure you ain’t gonna go crazy if things get scary. They’ll check if you can bounce back if somethin’ bad happens. You know, like if somebody tries to hurt you or the people you’re protectin’.
Now, they ain’t just gonna take your word for it. They’re gonna dig into your past, too. They gonna do a big ol’ background check. If you ever got into trouble with the law, well, you can just forget about gettin’ this job. They ain’t wantin’ no criminals carryin’ guns around, that’s for sure. They’ll check everything, everywhere you lived, everywhere you worked. They’ll talk to your neighbors, your old bosses, maybe even your ex-wife!
And they got these special mental health tests. Like, they wanna make sure you ain’t got no screws loose, you know? They got this test called the MMPI, or somethin’ like that. It’s supposed to tell ’em if you got anythin’ wrong with your head. They ask you all sorts of questions, some of ’em kinda personal, if you ask me. But they say it helps ’em figure out if you’re gonna be a danger to yourself or others. It’s a long test, lots of questions, make your head spin. You gotta be honest, though. They can tell if you’re lyin’, or tryin’ to hide somethin’.
This ain’t just in one place, either. I heard tell it’s the same whether you’re in Oklahoma, or Panama City, or even way out in Texas. They all want to make sure their security folks ain’t gonna go off the handle.
See, they want to know, if someone gave you a gun, would you use it right? Would you only use it to protect yourself and others? They’re lookin’ for judgment, they call it. And restraint. That means not shootin’ at everything that moves. And self-control. That means keepin’ your cool, even when things get hot. They need to know you can handle carryin’ a gun, and that you ain’t gonna go shootin’ somebody for no good reason. You gotta show ‘em you can make the right decisions, and that you ain’t gonna lose your head.
It ain’t easy, this testin’ stuff. It takes a lot of time and effort. But I guess it’s important. After all, you don’t want just anybody carryin’ a gun, do ya? You want someone who’s gonna be responsible, someone who’s gonna keep people safe. So, if you’re thinkin’ ’bout bein’ an armed security guard, you better be ready to open up your head and let ’em poke around. And you better be ready to prove you’re the right kinda person for the job. It ain’t just about bein’ strong and knowin’ how to shoot. It’s about bein’ smart and steady, too.
It’s a lot to go through, but in the end, it’s for the best. It keeps us all safer. And that’s what really matters, right?
