Alright, let’s talk about this star stuff and weeds, or whatever them city folks call it, astrology weeds. I don’t know much about fancy words, but I know what I know, you hear?
Now, they sayin’ your birthday, that star sign thingy, can tell ya what kind of weed you should be smokin’. Sounds like a load of hogwash to me, but hey, maybe there’s somethin’ to it. Like, them folks born under the sign of the water jug, Aquariums, or somethin’ like that. They think a lot, them folks do. All head and no heart, I tell ya. Always thinkin’ and thinkin’, never just feelin’. Kinda like my old mule, stubborn and always lookin’ off into the distance. So, what kinda weed would suit them brainy types?
Maybe somethin’ to calm them thoughts down, ya know? Somethin’ to make ’em stop worryin’ about the whole world and just enjoy the sunshine for once. I ain’t no doctor, but I reckon a good strong indica would do the trick. Knock ’em right on their behinds, that’s what it’ll do. Get ’em outta their heads and into their bodies, if ya catch my drift.
- Aries (March 21-April 19) – Them Aries folks, they’re like firecrackers, always poppin’ off. They need somethin’ to keep ’em goin’, somethin’ energetic. A good sativa, maybe? Keep ’em movin’ and shakin’ all day long.
- Taurus (April 20-May 20) – Now, Taurus folks, they like the good things in life. Comfort, food, you name it. They need somethin’ mellow, somethin’ to make ’em feel good all over. A nice hybrid, maybe? Best of both worlds, ya know?
- Gemini (May 21-June 20)– Them Geminis, they’re like two folks in one. Always chattering, always changing their minds. They need somethin’ to balance ’em out. Maybe a little bit of this, a little bit of that. A hybrid that leans one way or the other, dependin’ on the day.
- Cancer (June 21-July 22) – Cancers are homebodies, they like to feel safe and cozy. They need somethin’ to relax them, somethin’ to make ’em feel warm and fuzzy inside. A good indica, for sure. Somethin’ to cuddle up with on the couch.
- Leo (July 23-August 22) – Leos, they love the spotlight, always wantin’ to be the center of attention. They need somethin’ to enhance that, somethin’ to make ’em shine even brighter. A strong sativa, maybe? Somethin’ to get ’em dancin’ and singin’.
- Virgo (August 23-September 22) – Virgos are perfectionists, always wantin’ everything just so. They need somethin’ to calm their nerves, somethin’ to help them chill out. A balanced hybrid, maybe? Somethin’ to take the edge off.
- Libra (September 23-October 22) – Libras are all about balance and harmony. They need somethin’ that’s equally uplifting and relaxing. A well-balanced hybrid is perfect for them, promoting both mental clarity and physical ease.
- Scorpio (October 23-November 21) – Scorpios are intense, passionate folks. They need somethin’ to match that intensity, somethin’ that’ll take ’em on a wild ride. A strong indica, maybe? Or a potent hybrid that hits hard.
- Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) – Sagittarians are adventurers, always lookin’ for the next thrill. They need somethin’ energetic, somethin’ to keep ’em goin’ on their travels. A good sativa, definitely. Somethin’ to make ’em feel like they can conquer the world.
- Capricorn (December 22-January 19) – Capricorns are hard workers, always focused on their goals. They need somethin’ to help them unwind, somethin’ to take their minds off work. A relaxing indica, maybe? Or a mellow hybrid to ease their stress.
- Aquarius (January 20-February 18) – As I said before, Aquarians are thinkers. They need somethin’ to quiet their minds, somethin’ to help them connect with their bodies. A strong indica is just the ticket for these heady folks.
- Pisces (February 19-March 20) – Pisces are dreamers, they’re artistic and sensitive. They need somethin’ to enhance their creativity, somethin’ to help them escape reality. A dreamy hybrid, maybe? Somethin’ to open their minds and let their imaginations run wild.
Now, I ain’t sayin’ this is gospel truth, mind you. It’s just somethin’ to think about, somethin’ to have a little fun with. But if you’re lookin’ for a new way to pick your weed, why not give the stars a try? Who knows, maybe they’ll point you in the right direction. Just remember to always be careful and responsible, no matter what your sign says. And don’t go smokin’ too much, or you’ll end up like my old rooster, clucking nonsense all day long.
And one last thing, this here is just for fun, ya hear? Don’t go blaming me if your weed don’t match your stars. I’m just an old woman, what do I know?
Tags: [astrology, weeds, cannabis, zodiac signs, indica, sativa, hybrid, marijuana, star signs, personality, effects]
