Decode Your Life with Astrology X Files: Transits and Natal Charts

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Well, let me tell ya, this here astrology stuff, it’s somethin’ else. Folks been lookin’ at the stars for ages, tryin’ to figure out what it all means. They call it “astrology x files,” like it’s some kinda secret or somethin’. But it ain’t no secret, it’s just plain old lookin’ up at the sky and seein’ what the stars are tellin’ ya.

Now, they got these things called “transits.” That’s just when a planet moves around and does somethin’ to your “natal chart.” Your natal chart, that’s like a picture of the sky when you were born. It tells ya what kind of person you are, what you’re good at, and what kinda troubles you might get into. It’s like your own personal star map.

Them planets, they’re always movin’, you know. And when they move, they mess with your natal chart. Like, if Mars, that’s the fightin’ planet, if Mars is doin’ somethin’ to your Mercury, that’s the thinkin’ planet, well, then your mind might be all jumbled up. You might get angry easy, or say things you don’t mean. It’s like havin’ a little devil on your shoulder, whisperin’ bad ideas in your ear.

And then there’s Venus, that’s the love planet. If Venus is doin’ somethin’ nice to your Mars, well then, you might be feelin’ all lovey-dovey. You might get along better with your husband, or maybe you’ll meet someone new. It’s like havin’ a little angel on your shoulder, whisperin’ sweet nothin’s.

Mars messin’ with Mercury: Thinkin’ gets all messed up.
Venus bein’ nice to Mars: Love is in the air.
Saturn givin’ you the stink eye: Trouble’s comin’.

And then there’s Saturn. That’s the planet of hard work and tough times. If Saturn’s givin’ you the stink eye, well then, you better watch out. Things might get tough. You might lose your job, or get sick, or have a fight with your neighbor. It’s like havin’ a grumpy old man sittin’ on your chest, makin’ it hard to breathe.

They also talk about “houses” in astrology. Them houses are like different parts of your life. Like, the first house is you, the second house is your money, the third house is your talkin’ and thinkin’, and so on. When a planet moves through a house, it affects that part of your life. So, if Mars is in your money house, you might spend a lot of money, or maybe you’ll have a fight about money. And if Venus is in your love house, well, then you might fall in love, or get married, or just have a real good time with your sweetheart.

Now, some folks, they use fancy software to figure all this out. They got these programs that can tell ya exactly what the planets are doin’ and how it’s gonna affect ya. But you don’t need no fancy software to understand astrology. You just gotta look up at the sky and pay attention. The stars are always talkin’, you just gotta learn how to listen.

And there’s talk of “time lords” and “aspects” but that just sounds like more fancy words to me. It all boils down to the same thing: the planets are movin’ and shakin’ and they’re affectin’ our lives. It ain’t rocket science, even though them city folks try to make it sound all complicated.

Some folks say it’s all hogwash, that the stars don’t mean nothin’. But I don’t know about that. I’ve seen too many things happen that can’t be explained any other way. Like, when my cousin got married, Venus was right smack dab in her love house. And when my neighbor lost his farm, Saturn was sittin’ right on top of his money house. Coincidence? Maybe. But maybe not.

Anyways, that’s what I know about this here astrology x files stuff. It ain’t always easy to understand, but it’s worth payin’ attention to. ‘Cause the stars, they got a lot to say, if you’re willin’ to listen.

And don’t forget them “monthly profections” they talk about. Sound complicated, but it ain’t. It’s just lookin’ at how the moon moves each month and figurin’ out what that means for ya. It’s like the moon is a little clock, tickin’ away and tellin’ ya what to expect.

So next time you’re feelin’ lost or confused, just look up at the sky. The stars might not give ya all the answers, but they might just point ya in the right direction. And that’s more than most folks can say.