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Alright, alright, let’s talk about this… this horry-scope thing, the one they got in that there “el diario ny.” Don’t ask me what that means, sounds all fancy-pants to me. But my niece, she reads it every day, says it tells you what’s gonna happen. Like, if you’re gonna find a dollar on the street or if the rooster’s gonna crow extra loud.
So, this “el diario ny horoscopo,” it’s like… a fortune teller in the newspaper, see? It talks about all them star signs. You know, like that bull one, Taurus, I think they call it. And the fishy one, Pieces? No, wait, Pisces, that’s it. My grandson, he’s one of them, always swimming around in the bathtub like a little guppy.
This fella, Victor Florencio, they call him “El Nino Prodigio,” the wonder boy, he’s the one doin’ all the predictin’. He says what’s gonna happen to all twelve of them signs, every single day! Can you believe that? Must be a smart fella, knowin’ all that star stuff. He tells you about your health, your love life… if you’re gonna find a sweetheart, or if your old man’s gonna stop snorin’ so loud, maybe.
- They got Aries, the ram. Always butting heads, those ones.
- Then there’s Taurus, the bull. Stubborn as a mule, just like my old Bessy cow.
- Gemini, the twins. Two of ’em! Double the trouble, I say.
- Cancer, the crab. Always sidesteppin’, can’t ever get a straight answer from them.
- Leo, the lion. Roar a lot, but mostly just want a nap in the sun.
- Virgo, the… well, I don’t rightly know what that one is. Something fussy, I bet.
- Libra, the scales. Always tryin’ to be fair, bless their hearts.
- Scorpio, the scorpion. Sting you if you ain’t careful!
- Sagittarius, the archer. Always aimin’ for somethin’, though I don’t know what.
- Capricorn, the goat. Always climbin’ up things, like my Billy goat gettin’ on the roof.
- Aquarius, the water bearer. Carryin’ water, I guess. Good for them, keeps things clean.
- And Pisces, the fishes. Like I said, my grandson, always swimmin’.
They say this horry-scope stuff can tell you about your money, too. If you’re gonna find a penny on the sidewalk, or if your chickens are gonna lay extra eggs. Wouldn’t that be somethin’? I could sure use some extra egg money. Them feed prices keep goin’ up, you know.
This “el diario ny horoscopo” also talks about numbers. Special numbers, they say. Lucky numbers, maybe? I don’t know about all that. Seems like hocus pocus to me. But my niece, she swears by it. Says it helps her pick the right lottery ticket. She ain’t won nothin’ yet, though. Maybe she needs a better horry-scope.
They update this thing every day, this “el diario ny” paper does. Every single day! Must be a lot of star stuff happenin’ up there, if they gotta change the horry-scope all the time. And it ain’t just for New York folks, neither. This star stuff, it’s for everybody, they say. Wherever you are, them stars are lookin’ down on you.
This “el *” website, it’s more than just horry-scopes and news. It’s like a town square, where folks can get together and talk. They got other stuff on there too, like those think tank folks and those do-gooder NGOs. Sounds like a busy place, that internet thing. My grandson tried to show me once, but it just looked like a bunch of squiggly lines to me.
So, this horry-scope thing… is it real? I dunno. Maybe them stars do have somethin’ to say. Maybe they can tell you if it’s gonna rain or if your tomatoes are gonna grow big and juicy. Or maybe it’s just a bunch of hooey. But hey, it’s fun to think about, ain’t it? Gives you somethin’ to ponder while you’re churnin’ butter or feedin’ the chickens. And who knows, maybe one day that “el diario ny horoscopo” will tell me where I buried that old can of coffee money… now that would be useful!
Anyways, that’s what I know about this here “el diario ny horoscopo.” Take it with a grain of salt, I say. Life’s gonna happen how it’s gonna happen, stars or no stars. But it don’t hurt to have a little peek at what they might be sayin’, right?
Tags: [Horoscope, Daily Horoscope, El Diario NY, Astrology, Zodiac Signs, Victor Florencio, El Nino Prodigio, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Predictions, Love, Money, Health, Spanish, New York]
