Well, howdy there! Let’s talk about them stars and what they got to say. You know, like them city folks do in the Detroit Metro Times Horoscope. I ain’t no fancy astrologer, mind you, but I can tell you a thing or two about life and what might be comin’ your way.
So, first off, we got them Aries folks (March 21- April 20). Them stars are sayin’, don’t go stompin’ on your own happiness. If somethin’ makes you feel all giddy inside, like findin’ a twenty dollar bill in your old coat pocket, then go on and be happy! Just don’t go runnin’ off like a chicken with its head cut off, you hear? Keep your wits about ya.
- Taurus (April 20-May 20): Now, you Taurus folks, you’re stubborn as a mule, bless your hearts. But the stars are sayin’ it’s time to loosen up a bit. Maybe try somethin’ new, like eatin’ grits with sugar instead of salt. You never know, you might just like it.
- Gemini (May 21-June 20): You Geminis are like whirlwinds, always flittin’ here and there. The stars are sayin’ it’s time to slow down and listen for once. You got two ears and one mouth, remember? Use ’em in that order.
Then we got them Cancer people (June 21-July 22). Y’all are softies, always carryin’ the weight of the world on your shoulders. The stars are sayin’ it’s time to let some of that go. Go on and take a load off, sit on the porch swing, and drink some sweet tea. You deserve it.
Now, Leo (July 23-August 22), you lions, you love bein’ the center of attention. And that’s alright, nothin’ wrong with shinin’ bright. But the stars are whisperin’ that maybe it’s time to let someone else have the spotlight for a bit. Share the sunshine, you know?
For the Virgo folks (August 23-September 22), y’all are always fussin’ and fixin’ and tryin’ to make everything perfect. The stars are sayin’, “Ease up, buttercup!” Not everythin’s gotta be spotless. Sometimes a little mess is okay. Like a garden, it needs a little dirt to grow.
Libra (September 23-October 22), you’re all about balance and harmony. That’s good, but don’t let it turn into you bein’ a doormat. The stars are sayin’ stand up for yourself, speak your mind. Even if it ruffles a few feathers.
Now, Scorpio (October 23-November 21), you’re deep and mysterious, like a well that goes down forever. The stars are sayin’ it’s time to come up for air a bit. Let some folks see the real you, not just the parts you want them to see.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21), you archers are always lookin’ for adventure. And that’s fine, but don’t go gallopin’ off without thinkin’ things through. The stars are sayin’ look before you leap, or you might just end up in a heap of trouble.
And then we got them Capricorn (December 22-January 19) folks, you’re hard workers, always climbin’ that mountain. The stars are sayin’ don’t let past troubles mess up your chances to get back on good terms. Do it your way.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18), you’re the oddballs, the ones who march to the beat of your own drum. And that’s what makes you special. The stars are sayin’, keep on bein’ you, don’t let anyone try to change you.
Finally, we got Pisces (February 19-March 20), you dreamers, you sensitive souls. The stars are sayin’ it’s okay to dream, but don’t get lost in your own head. Keep one foot on the ground, you hear? And don’t let folks take advantage of your kind heart.
Well, that’s about it for this week’s horoscope. Remember, this ain’t gospel. It’s just somethin’ to think about while you’re sippin’ your coffee. You take what you need and leave the rest. And most importantly, be kind to yourself and to others. The world needs more kindness, that’s for sure.
Now go on and have a good week, ya hear?
Tags: [Horoscope, Detroit, Weekly, Astrology, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Predictions, Stars]
