Shop the Latest: Chic Astrology Jumpsuit for All Body Types

Alright, let’s talk about these… what do you call ’em? Astrology jumpsuits? Yeah, those things. I saw some pictures online, and the young’uns are wearin’ ’em all over the place. Now, I ain’t no fancy fashion expert, mind you. I’m just an old woman who’s seen a thing or two in my day.

First off, what in the tarnation is an “astrology” jumpsuit anyway? Sounds like somethin’ them city folk made up. From what I gather, it’s got somethin’ to do with them… zodiac signs? Like, if you’re a Taurus, you get a bull on your clothes? And if you’re a… what’s that fishy one? Pisces? You get fish? Lord have mercy. Back in my day, we just wore clothes that kept us warm and covered. Didn’t need no fancy stars and signs tellin’ us what to put on.

But hey, times change, I guess. And if these young girls wanna wear jumpsuits with pictures of goats and lions and what-not, that’s their business. Personally, I think some of ’em look right silly. But some, I gotta admit, ain’t half bad. I saw one that was green, with some kinda swirls on it. Looked comfortable enough, like you could wear it to the market or even to church, if it wasn’t too flashy.

Now, they got all different kinds, these jumpsuits. Some are tight, some are loose. Some got short sleeves, some got long. Some are plain colors, and some… well, some look like a rainbow threw up on ’em.
If you’re a bit on the heavier side, like me, you might wanna go for somethin’ loose and flowy. Don’t wanna be squeezin’ yourself into somethin’ that makes you look like a sausage, you know?
And if you’re skinny as a rail, well, you can probably wear just about anythin’, I reckon. But even then, you gotta be careful. Some of these jumpsuits, they hug you in all the wrong places.

And let’s not forget the price. Some of these things cost a fortune! I saw one online for over a hundred dollars! A hundred dollars for a piece of cloth you wear one time? That’s highway robbery, I tell ya. You could buy a whole new outfit for that kind of money. Or a whole week’s worth of groceries, for that matter.

But I guess if you got the money and you like the way it looks, then go ahead and buy yourself an astrology jumpsuit. Just make sure it fits right and it’s comfortable. Ain’t nothin’ worse than bein’ stuck in a piece of clothing that’s too tight or too itchy or too somethin’. And don’t be wearin’ it to the farm, okay? You’ll get it all dirty and torn up. These things ain’t made for workin’, that’s for sure.

So, yeah, that’s my two cents on these astrology jumpsuits. They’re a bit strange, a bit pricey, and definitely not somethin’ I’d ever wear. But hey, to each their own, right? If it makes you happy, then go for it. Just don’t expect me to understand it. I’m too old for this newfangled fashion, I reckon.

One more thing, if you do decide to get one of them jumpsuit thingamajigs, make sure it’s easy to get in and out of. I seen some that looked like you’d need a team of horses to get ’em on and off. And that just ain’t practical, especially when you gotta use the outhouse in the middle of the night. You hear me?

And another thing. Don’t be buyin’ one of these things just because everyone else is wearin’ it. You gotta wear what makes you feel good, not what some magazine or some fancy pants designer tells you to wear. You got your own style, girl, don’t you be forgettin’ that. You hear?

Anyway, that’s enough talk about jumpsuits for one day. I gotta go make some supper. Got a hankerin’ for some good ol’ fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Now that’s somethin’ that never goes out of style, you know?