So, yesterday I was messing around with this whole “crying silently” thing. You know, where you’re bawling your eyes out but not making a sound? It’s weird, right? I mean, crying is usually pretty loud and obvious. But this was more like…internal screaming.
First, I tried to figure out what this silent crying is even called. Turns out, some people call it “whimpering” or just “silent tears.” It’s basically when you’re crying but without all the sobbing and noise. Like, your face is all scrunched up, and the tears are flowing, but you’re not making a peep. It is a strange feeling, like being trapped in my own body.
I started by just sitting on my bed and thinking about some pretty messed up stuff. I know, not the best way to spend a day, but I was curious. Then I focused on holding back, not letting any sound out. Like I was holding my breath, but with my emotions. It actually took a lot of effort. And when I tried to stop it, my body is shaking. And I have a deep pain in my heart.
Then I looked up some information about it. There is a disorder that’s linked to this kind of crying, but I’m not sure if that’s what I was experiencing. It’s more like extreme sadness and denying what’s happening around you. I was definitely feeling down, but it wasn’t that extreme.
I also read about how this kind of crying can be a sign of a “spiritual attack.” I’m not really into that stuff, but I guess it’s like when you feel like some negative force is messing with you. It is said that people’s emotions are weak links that can be easily exploited. But I think I just made myself sad by thinking about sad things.
What Did I Realize?
- It’s harder than it looks. Seriously, trying not to make a sound when you’re crying is tough.
- It’s a weird feeling. Like you’re bottling everything up, which probably isn’t healthy.
- It’s kind of isolating. You’re going through all this emotional stuff, but nobody around you even knows.
- My body feels really tired. Although I didn’t make any noise, I felt like I had just run a marathon.
Honestly, I don’t know why I did this to myself. Maybe I was just curious about how my body and mind work. Maybe I wanted to see if I could control my emotions. Or maybe I’m just a little bit weird. Anyway, I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s better to just let it out, even if it’s loud and messy. But it does make me think about how complicated our emotions can be. And how much we don’t always understand what’s going on inside our own heads.
This whole experience was kind of strange and unsettling, but hey, at least I have an interesting story to tell, right? And I do realize that I am not the only one who will experience this. So maybe next time I will share this with others, and see if anyone else has any similar stories to tell.
