Okay, so today I decided to really dig into this “family psychological clarion” thing. I’d heard about it here and there, and it sounded like something that could actually be helpful for my family. We’ve been having some communication issues lately, just the usual stuff, but it felt like we were talking at each other instead of to each other.
I started by doing some good old-fashioned internet searching. I wanted to get a feel for what this “clarion” even was. I found a bunch of stuff, some of it helpful, some of it… not so much. I sort of pieced together a general idea: It’s about really understanding each other’s perspectives and communicating our needs clearly.
The First Attempt: A Family Meeting
So, I gathered everyone around the dinner table – my partner, and the two kids. I explained, probably a bit clumsily, that I wanted us to try this thing to help us communicate better. I got some eye rolls from the teenager, but hey, that’s expected. The youngest was just confused.
I tried to lay out the ground rules: everyone gets a chance to speak without interruption, we try to really listen to what the other person is saying, and no blaming. Easier said than done!
The first few minutes were…rough. Lots of “He always…” and “She never…” accusations flying around. My partner and I found ourselves slipping into old patterns, too. It was hard to break those habits!
Finding a Rhythm (Sort Of)
But then, something started to shift. I think it was when my youngest, in their own simple way, said they felt like no one ever listened to their ideas for what to do on weekends. That kind of broke through the noise.
We all took a breath and really focused on what they were saying. We asked clarifying questions, like “What kind of activities do you wish we did more?” and “Can you give us an example?” No judgment, just trying to understand.
It wasn’t perfect, but that one moment opened the door a crack. The teenager started talking, a little hesitantly, about feeling pressured about school. My partner shared some anxieties about work. I talked about feeling overwhelmed with household chores.
The Takeaway (So Far)
- It’s messy: There’s no magic formula, and old habits are HARD to break.
- It’s about effort: It takes conscious effort to really listen and try to understand each other.
- It’s ongoing: This isn’t a one-time fix. It’s something we’ll have to keep working on.
- It is worth it.
We didn’t solve all our problems in one evening, not even close. But it felt like we took a small step in the right direction. We agreed to try and have these “clarion” check-ins more regularly, maybe once a week. I’m not expecting miracles, but I’m hopeful that we can slowly learn to communicate better, one messy, imperfect conversation at a time.
It feels really good, and today’s practice has been a complete success. I feel like I will continue to do it tomorrow.
